Know Thy Enemy: St. Louis Rams

The St. Louis Rams are an evil bunch of hate mongers.  They originally were the Cleveland Rams, but knowing what it was going to be like if they stayed in Cleveland (never winning a championship) they bolted for Los Angeles after the 1945 season.

After milling around in LA for a while, they again got bored and moved to Anaheim, but kept the “Los Angeles” moniker to throw salt in the wounds of the good people that actually reside in Los Angeles.

From 1980 to 1994 the Los Angeles Rams (of Anaheim) we’re a pathetic bunch of losers that insisted on pretending to be good by going to “the playoffs” quite often and making championship games, only to lose them.  At this point, owner, Georgia Frontiere, decided to move the team to Baltimore because he had no money but the other NFL owners nixed that.

Insisting he was an idiot that mismanaged the team, they cited such “facts” as him trading away all time leading rusher Eric Dickerson and releasing Pro Bowl Linebacker (and future NWO member) Kevin Greene early in his career and attempting to use Jim “Chris” Everett as his starting Quarterback.

After more fighting he was finally allowed to move this sad sack of losers to St. Louis in 1994, because those people had deserved a crappy football team to destroy their Sunday’s for the way their stupid baseball team would win the 2006 World Series over the Tigers (they are good prognosticators).

Ever since then, the Rams have resided in St. Louis, and have given the world awful things, like the constantly crying Dick Vermeil:

From wikipedia:

Vermeil is remembered for his frequent emotional breakdowns during press conferences, including crying when getting emotional.

The ever so lovely 9 time convicted felon, Lawrence Phillips:

Kurt Warner’s wife’s short hair:

Mike Martz’s awful offense:

And this ridiculous logo with too much gold in it:

As far as the current team is concerned, things to dislike are Head Coach Jeff Fisher and his mustache.  Quaterback Sam Bradford and his babyface, THE LIONS HAVE THE ONLY BABYFACED QB IN THE LEAGUE!

That the fans still hold on to that 1999 Super Bowl win like its so freaking special to win one, ANYONE CAN DO IT, JERKS! (crap).

Steven Jackson and his terrible years every time I have him in fantasy football.  Starting Middle Linebacker (and chief goon) James Laurinaitis went to Ohio State, gross, AND their best Defensive End is Howie Long’s kid, nepotism at it’s finest.

The Rams have a very mediocre defense that Matthew Stafford and Company will be able to score at will on.  Their offense is very up and down and in week 1 on the road at Ford Field? I say its a down week and the Lions come out strong and don’t have to worry about their poor secondary as the Rams Wide Receivers are very underwhelming.

Now you know everything there is to know about the week 1 enemy, the St. Louis (until they move again) Rams.



3 Comments on "Know Thy Enemy: St. Louis Rams"

  1. I would have sex with Kurt Warner’s wife.

  2. You know Kurt Warner used to bag groceries? and Jerome Bettis was from Detroit, right?

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