If you are like me you have interacted on the MLB.com page at least once before in your life. Therefore, you are in their email database and probably receive countless emails through out the week.
I’m quite sick of MLB sending me emails that are useless and basically the same thing every day so I’m going to keep a log of each one I receive for a week.
You may ask why I don’t simply unsubscribe from the list. Well, first, its a pain in the ass, they don’t make it easy and I have done it before. However, ANYTIME you want to do something on MLB.com they re-list you. And as someone that is a MLB.tv subscriber, I’m putting my email address in all the time.
I do also like some of the games they have on the site but since I like playing Beat the Streak and pick who is going to get a hit tonight, should I have to suffer through all this spam? I don’t think so, so here’s my file:
Monday August 20, 3:20PM: Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event: Get a free trial of MLB.tv (which I already paid for) presented by Lexus.
So, MLB, you want to give me a free trial of something I paid for already AND you want me to know that Lexus is having a HUGE sales event through Sept. 4th…thank you. I suppose you sending me an email about Lexus makes sense since I clearly paid for something you are now giving away for free so I may have poor budgeting abilities and may be stupid enough to purchase a car I cannot afford.
However, how are you now pushing Lexus cars? Isn’t GM your “preferred car of MLB?” or is it only preferred for the amount of money they gave and other car companies can shoe-horn in when they want? PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME.
Tuesday August 21, 4:33PM: Enter For a Chance to Win a Trip to Boston to Dine With a Baseball Legand!: Dinner with a legend at a legendary steakhouse. Register for your chance to win dinner at Smith & Wollensky in Boston with former Red Sox All-Star Nomar Garciaparra. Prize includes transportation and hotel accommodations for you and three guests.
Now, while I appreciate the idea of myself and three of my drunk friends at a dinner with Nomar Garciaparra I just don’t think I want to register for this. I’m also not sure MLB wants me to win either…and they didn’t do anything to relay that feeling to me, its that when they realize how much booze we will drink before meeting “Baseball Legend” Nomar on their dime, they won’t want to put him in a position of having to dine with 4 drunk guys yelling “NO-MAAAAAAA, WHER’s KEVAAAN MILLLAAAAAAA?!?!?!? IS YO KID A RETAAAAAD OR CAN HE READ A DOPPLAAAAAA RADAAAAAA?!?!?!” in awful fake Boston accents.
As much fun as that sounds, I don’t want to be the person responsible for ending what appears to be an ongoing contest to win chances to dine around the country with various “Baseball Legands” thanks but no thanks, MLB…PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME.
Wednesday August 22, 8:07AM: Gear Up for the Playoff Push! Get $10 to the MLB.com Shop: Gear up for the playoff push! Click here to claim a $10 digital gift card for the mlb.com shop.
Oh, jeez, $10 off your inflated prices. First, I already own too many jerseys (5) and enough t-shirts that I can go 2 weeks with out doing laundry, never wear the same shirt twice and still have a Tigers shirt on everyday, not sure I need more. However, maybe my wife needs something (she doesn’t, I’ve already decked her out completely too, but we’ll go with this) but with the $10 off, that will barely cover the shipping on your product that is already over priced.
So, instead of going to a regular shop or Meijer or many other places and pay $15-25 per t-shirt, I can pay $35 on your site for one and then wait 4 days for the UPS ground to get it to me? And this doesn’t account for the extra few days when the UPS guy decides that there isn’t a safe location to leave my t-shirt so I have to go pick it up from them. No thank you, PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME.
Wednesday August 22 11:05AM: Tigers Authentics: Get an autographed batting helmet of your favorite Tiger:Who’s your Tiger? Tigers Authentics has secured a limited number of batting helmets specially autographed by select Tigers. Choose from current players such as Miguel Cabrera, Alex Avila, and Prince Fielder or select among Tigers legends Al Kaline, Alan Trammell and Kirk Gibson.
I’m including emails from the Tigers since they are a part of MLB and as I was informed on Twitter by the Tigers official feed (when making fun of them for being awful at Twitter) MLB.com actually runs it half the time, they run every teams twitter and facebook pages, so this gets lumped in too.
Anyway, this is something I could be interested in if it wasn’t buried between multiple other emails from MLB. Seriously, if it wasn’t for me logging all these annoying emails, I wouldn’t have read this. So what do I have to do to get one of these helmets? Sign up for a contest like with Nomar?
Nope, just go buy one…and for only $175-250 who wouldn’t? Oh, me, that’s who, this is not something I want to pay for…maybe for charity, maybe to win one but to just simply pay $224.99 to get a Prince Fielder autographed helmet? no thanks, PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME.
Wednesday August 22 1:43PM: Exclusive $100 cash back offer inside for the ultimate MLB fan: Show your pride with the MLB BankAmericard Cash Rewards credit card.
Spamming me for credit cards with the MLB logo on it now? GFY and PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME.
Thursday August 23 6:22AM: Buy Today at MLB.com Photo Store and Save at MLB.com Shop: BUY NOW-SAVE LATER Spend $50 now and receive10% off coupon code valid at MLB.com shop.
Pretty early in the day, MLB. More coupons and discounts on your site? the fact that you offer these multiple times per week tells me two things, first, your prices can easily be reduced since it appears anyone with any sort of effort can get money off, second, that anyone that has bought anything at full price at your store was ripped off more than they thought.
Buy pictures? Can’t I just take pictures? Custom framing options available?!?! Yay, so for a photo I could have printed myself at home or at Walgreens or CVS for $2, I can pay you $15 plus shipping for? THEN YOU GIVE ME THE OPTION TO PAY $50+ MORE TO HAVE IT FRAMED? when will the amazing deals end?!?!
And fear not fellow Tigers fans, after going to the page to see the usual crap you can see anywhere (photo of Comerica with a storm rolling in! Austin Jackson SWINGING!!!!) I found the picture you will all pay the measly $15 for. 26 pages of results and here it is:
$15 for a picture of Paws…fantastic. Also, I only made it to the 3rd of 26 pages, but that’s further than most people go in search results…I mean seriously, has anyone ever made it to the 3rd page of their google search results? NO, if its not on the first page, just re-google with a slightly different phrase. PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME.
Friday August 24th 7:47AM: 100 Runs Were Scored, So Get Your 50% Off Papa John’s This Weekend: Because there were over 100 runs scored across all of the MLB games on Wednesday, the entire country will receive 50% off at PapaJohns.com this Friday, Saturday and Sunday-August 24-26! Celebrate out nation’s pastime by taking 50% off all weekend long from PapaJohns.com.
More deals, maybe I should stick around and keep getting these emails, at this rate, sometime in 2042 it might be something I’ll use. Don’t get me wrong, I like pizza…A LOT, but half off Papa Johns just isn’t that intriguing to me. If I want cheap, crappy pizza I’m getting Little Caesars instead or maybe the Pizza Hut lunch buffet.
I wonder if this has happened before. Is it everyday that if 100 runs are scored the country gets 50% off for the weekend? Its not, because on Tuesday, the day before the big day, 110 runs were scored across all games, so this is a bull shit advertisement. Not like the trusty 3 home runs = free curly fries at Arby’s deal in Metro Detroit. PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME.
Friday August 24th 12:18PM: Congrats! You’ve Been Chosen to Get a Magazine & 4 Bonus Gifts: Get your free preview issue of MLB Insiders Club Magazine when you start your free 30-day, no risk, no obligation trial membership to MLB Insiders Club! PLUS… Get a free Stadium Blanket with the team logo of your choice & Official 2012 All-Star Game Program!*
A magazine? leave me alone. A free blanket with the Tigers logo that I can get at a game by putting Velveteen Rabbit’s info on a credit card application form too? It says four free gifts and I only see two and the asterisks says you get the gifts once you buy the subscription to a magazine.
I’m not buying a year of Sports Illustrated and they give me a free copy of Madden. I’m not buying your crappier, more out of date, less interesting magazine just because I can get a stupid blanket and a program to this years All Star game that I wasn’t at, was in Kansas City and I didn’t even watch because Verlander got blowed up in the first inning during it.PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME.
Saturday August 25th 9:45AM: Download Captain’s Conquest & Join The Battle For a Chance to Win Ultimate MLB Loot!: Download Captain’s Conquest and enter for a fhance to win Ultimate MLB Loot!
So I can earn a chance to win tickets to the World Series or an All Star game by downloading some crap game made by Captain Morgan’s? This is just stupid, I don’t want to play that game and if their are restrictions on who Tobacco Companies can advertise to how can MLB and Captain Morgan do this?
Baseball has a lot of children as fans and a game on a cell phone that most kids older than 12 have can play this game based on a made up corporate character seems like a poor advertising partnership, MLB. I don’t have kids so I don’t exactly care, it doesn’t offend me (other than its crappy booze) I just think this is pretty much the definition of MLB being greedy and taking money from ANYONE that is willing to pay them. PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME.
Sunday August 25th 10:22AM: Get MLB.tc Premium for only $10. Two Days Only: MLB.tv Celebrates 10 years (seriously? they’ve been doing this that long? I don’t believe that) Watch every out of market game for the rest of the season for just $10.
Sorry MLB, as much as I would love to pay $10 to get this for the rest of the year, I was a poor sap that paid full price before the season started. Maybe not let me know about this? Or give me some money back for continually purchasing this stupid thing? How about an early bird special where I know no one will pay less than me?
If I wasn’t hopelessly addicted to baseball and the Tigers maybe I could hold out until one of these specials, but since I enjoy screaming at the Tigers and Jim Leyland I just can’t take the risk that this deal doesn’t come along. But, it is OUTRAGEOUSLY frustrating when it does come. PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME.
So there you have it, one week, just 7 days and 10 emails from MLB.com. All of them pretty crappy, some provided some interesting things but I don’t read those because of all the other crappy spam ones that show up. If I wasn’t doing this I would have NO idea that Nomar is whoring himself out to dine with fans or that you can so often get discounts to the MLB.com store.
But, alas, since this was a one time thing, I will go back to not reading the emails and not knowing about that ever so important Lexus sales event. Oh well.