Why the Lions Will Win The NFC North: Packer’s D is Not Good

“We love cheese!”

*We here at Motor City Sports Talk firmly believe the Lions will win the NFC North this season and to make you believe too, we will discuss each of the other three teams in the division and break down why they will not win the NFC North, therefore assuring the Lions of a division Championship.  Today’s team: Green Bay Packers…Vikings and Bears here and here*

Man, I’m so glad I’m a Lion fan and not a Packer fan.  Yeah, they have all the history and Super Bowl wins, but I would hate to have to wear one of those stupid cheesehead hats.  I would much rather go to a Lion’s game and get punched in the face by a drunk fat guy from Taylor.

The Packers won the Super Bowl in 2010, and went 15-1 last year losing to the Giants in the Divisional playoff game.  So why won’t they win the North this year?

We all know their offense is going to be good again, but here is how they could take a step back.

They did lose their offensive coordinator Joe Philbin to the Miami Dolphins.  He is now their head coach.  But they moved quarterback coach Tom Clements up to fill the position, so probably won’t see a lot of change there.

Rumor has it, Aaron Rodgers has been spending a lot of time practicing his discount double check dance and hanging out with the fat red haired dude in the State Farm commercials.  A budding “friendship” can be a distraction.  B.J. Raji and Clay Matthews have also appeared in the commercials.  Who’s next, coach Mike McCarthy?  Ginger will not be happy.

Yes, the receiving corp is solid.  But don’t expect Jordy Nelson to put up the numbers he did last year.  Did I mention he is white, and his name is Jordy?  Donald Driver is 100 years old, so Randall Cobb is expected to see more action.  He won’t be a big threat this year.  I don’t really have a good reason why.

Greg Jennings went to Western Michigan, and tight end Jermichael Finley will get a hangnail and sit out 7 weeks.  When he comes back he’ll have more dropped passes than he does receptions.  They also have a receiver named Shaky Smithson.  I feel like that should be my name, since I still have the shakes from drinking too much this past weekend.

The running backs are James Starks, Alex Green, and recently signed Cedric Benson.  Starks went to school at Buffalo (yes, they have a football program), Green is coming off of an ACL injury, and Benson is 29 years old with almost 900 carries over the last three years.  I predict the Packers will average 11.3 running yards/game this year (editor’s note: that may be a bit high).

The biggest question mark for the Packers is their defense.  It was not good last year, in fact, it ranked last in the entire NFL.

They did get help drafting linebacker Nick Perry, and defensive lineman Jerel Worthy and Mike Daniels to improve the pass rush.  Obviously fellow Spartan Jerel Worthy will be awesome, but I still don’t think the Pack D will get much pressure on the quarterback again this year.

Unless linebacker Clay Matthews long flowing golden locks can trip some people up, the Packers will miss a lot of tackles again this year.   87 year old Charles Woodson is still going to play corner, but he’ll be used in the slot on nickel downs and will play safety as well.  Safety Nick Collins was released because of this neck, so the Packers will have to find a replacement there.

It looks like the ghost of Brett Favre will haunt the team this year.  Wait, what?  Brett Favre isn’t dead?  I haven’t heard ESPN talk about him for a few days, so I just assumed.

There you have it, enough reason for the Packers to lose a few more games this year.  I’m sure the cheeseheads think their team will dominate the NFC North and win another Super Bowl.  But not this year, they’ll go 10-6, leaving enough room for the Lions to win the division…CHAMPIONSHIP!!!



2 Comments on "Why the Lions Will Win The NFC North: Packer’s D is Not Good"

  1. I can’t believe you left out that they will lose because they screw their fans out of money all the time…and not in the normal $9 beer way, they just request that people give them money for no reason and they do…

    As a Lions fan, if Bill Ford asked me for $250 for a piece of paper that had the teams logo on it so he could upgrade the scoreboards I’d punch him in the face…

    But Packer fans actually give them the money? what a bunch of morons…you not only will lose, you deserve it too.

  2. velveteenrabbit81 | August 14, 2012 at 7:43 pm | Reply

    I thought it was common knowledge that Packer fans are idiots.

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