Why the Lions Will Win The NFC North: Jay Cutler is the Bears Quarterback

“I dun care about nuthin’ Ima marry me a reality star”

*We here at Motor City Sports Talk firmly believe the Lions will win the NFC North this season and to make you believe too, we will discuss each of the other three teams in the division and break down why they will not win the NFC North, therefore assuring the Lions of a division Championship.  Today’s team: Chicago Bears…Vikings here*

There is a lot of talk in Chicago that “THE BEARS ARE BACK!”  but unfortunately for those people, that 8-8 team they saw last year was a better team that what they are going put on the field this year.

The Bears fans seem to think that by adding schizophrenic wide out Brandon Marshall, who had success with quarterback Jay Cutler in Denver 4 years ago, is all that was needed to win a Super Bowl.  Go ask a very good 2004 Eagles team what adding a mentally unstable WR in his prime does…not much other than cause problems and make your quarterback throw up on the field.

And the second part of that combo is still Jay Cutler, who’s decision making has to be questioned.  He married or is having a kid with (I’m not sure which) a reality TV show girl.  Even worse, it was a reality TV show on MTV years ago about spoiled rich kids.  Its not the one that tried to be in Playboy or the one that had all that plastic surgery in one day or that other one you are probably thinking of, but the other one from that…yeah, I’m not really sure, I just know its stupid.

He was also almost run out of town for being injured in a playoff game and leaving the team with Todd Collins at quarterback during the NFC Championship game…which everyone’s reaction was, “There’s another Todd Collins? YOU MEAN THAT’S THE SAME ONE FROM 1994?!?!?! ITS 2010!”   Yet now they all love him again and he’s the best QB EVA!!!! (he’s terrible).

The rest of the offense is a mess.  Much like the Vikings, the offensive line is TERRIBLE…but even worse in Chicago.  They have a battle for both tackle positions between 2 different sets of parking cones so that should help out Cutler quite a bit by giving him no time to throw the football.

It will also help Matt Forte, who finally signed the long term deal he’s been crying about for two years.  He is also coming off knee surgery…go look up the history of running backs entering their 5th year after signing a big contract coming off of knee surgery…its probably not good.  Think Tennessee was happy about Chris Johnson’s performance last year after they signed him to a monster contract and he half assed it all year because he wasn’t working for more money? (hint: they weren’t).

While looking at the defense, the names I recognize and figure to be impact players are the following ages: 31, 31, 32, 34, 31.  although Peppers, Urlacher, Tillman, Briggs and Idonije have been some difference makers in the past, just like a running back that signs the big contract and disappears, defenders over 30 do the same.

The NFL is not a place where people in their early to mid 30’s get a lot of playing time and make much of a difference.  At this point, if you were relevant at any point before 2005, you are most likely no longer making an impact on the game unless you are leading a group of former players in a concussion lawsuit against the league.

Finally, if you find yourself speaking with a Bears fan and they believe there is a chance at all this year all you have to do is recite the following fact to them and the argument will be over: Lovie Smith is still your head coach.

Say it calmly, rationally and any Bears fan with an IQ over 50 will not be able to defend that.  The Bears will be a mess this year, not even sniff the playoffs and then “re-build” which will be fun watching them be even worse for 5 more years after this.

No need to think of the Bears as a threat to the Lions this year…CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

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1 Comment on "Why the Lions Will Win The NFC North: Jay Cutler is the Bears Quarterback"

  1. I completely forgot: Jay Cutler has Diabetus…so um…diabetus joke here, now watch this awesome video starring Wilfred Brimly (its 10 seconds long): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4LyaNgzy6U

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